My Lord, you should have seen the size of the peanut brittle can that these nasty things sprang out of!

“Hey, what is this crowd doing around here? Can’t you guys see that I’m obviously not decent at the moment?”

“Well, my profession is snake charmer. I guess these guys just can’t get enough of me!”

“Don’t ask me where these things came from, I only woke up now myself! Jesus, it’s really no wonder I was last dreaming that I was crawling through the large intestine!”

“Honestly, mister, you aren’t allowed to lie around on the public sidewalk! I think you had better get up and leave at once.”
“Yeah, I’d love to, madam, but as you can clearly see, I am a little bit tied up right now!”

“What’s the big deal, everyone? You do realize that it was unusually chilly last night?”

“No, miss, none of these snakes will bite you, but I’ll certainly bite you if you ask me nicely! Get it, lady? But seriously, folks, snakes a lot for not laughing at my joke back there. Oh, never mind.”

“Look here, fella, why can’t you just learn to keep it… them… whatever, in your damn pants?”

“Sorry, but it’s merely that old age tale, folks. First it was rats biting me during the night, so then I brought in snakes to get rid of them. Now, that there are no more rats, I need something else to get rid of these blasted snakes!”

“Why yes, I could use some help, sir. Does anyone know where there is a mattress for free? Because it is sure very uncomfortable to sleep on just newspapers and cardboard here.”

Wind Blown Sand Castle

So, we now stop by a lake under one slender tree,
you’re tried during this night, but I’m still restless wildlife,
nearing your unceremonious finish from an hour ago,
as you silently just nod repeatedly after each of my strikes.
I don’t really care about who else is listening,
since no one has kept up a necessary following,
only you,
and my answers track recorded channels over your face.

We had it all thoroughly explained today,
yet I alone chimed my mighty gong anyway,
beginning a different bitter support,
leaving you agape with no ability to retort.

Watch, and feel a tide later brush up to your bare knees,
your skin now glistening its dusting of heavy salt,
water remaining warm from a day’s oppressive heat,
comfortable and cool compared to my leveling of fault.
I know that you must carry off the same conclusion,
for a review of my visit actually hardly changes anything,
except me,
and of us both, I’m going to stay around quite a while longer.

We both played our essential design,
you had your story and I had mine,
neither won in witness of an audience,
but I did manage to outlast your patience.

Okay, let’s see how far I can bring these waves in secession,
without pushing our valuable consorting package sorely under,
I’m here for another early start at your untimely expense,
and in anger, wishing that you could somehow break your orders.
I congratulated your men on being able to take it this direction,
always eyeing my main target floundering in the burnt foam,
you again,
and wondering why none of this was mentioned in your debriefing.

Appraising a Reflection Over Water

Fascinating, so you’re the only one with friends and children?
Now, exactly how does this work?
Because I must once again disagree.
I had parents myself, I know, isn’t it surprising,
but if I’m actually wrong with this, I’d like to understand and correct my mistaken reasoning.
And oh, please be a dear, and translate any answer back into my thick-headed language.
You can do that for me, can’t you?
Since I’ve heard that you supposedly know all of them.

Not so quick, now are we?
Then instead, do ask me any question,
and I’ll demonstrate that I ain’t afraid to answer.
For me, I’ve got nothing to hide from someone such as you.
In fact, I revel in it.
It’s quite amusing watching your teary eyes glaze and your glass jaw tighten,
holding back any reprisal because you know that you’ll just incriminate yourself.

That is it, isn’t it?
Since I’m not nearly as densely docile as you want them, baby,
you don’t honestly wish to earn your trust, respect, or peace here.
Instead, you require it ordered from us,
and those who don’t automatically gobble down what you’ve got concocted for their plate,
will shortly find themselves in the rain right outside of your esteemed restaurant, right?
Right?
Again, if you aren’t going to answer any of my questions,
then why don’t you at least call my suspected bluff and ask some from me?

No, okay then, by all means, please continue your tiny lecture here,
and I’ll surely join in when needed to help support an infectious chorus or two,
because I can sing about as well as yourself, if not better,
definitely more so than your buddies along these arid sidelines.
You do remember them, don’t you?
Your wee satirical finger puppets that you are still in competition with,
up to your elbows in clay and plenty of it even smeared across your pretty face,
oh, you better believe that your audience remembers these sorry guys.

You are going to catch on soon that I don’t become easily bored with this,
especially so since I’m much more passionate and involved in the subject than you.
I too can politely applaud and cheer like these restful here,
but not anywhere toward your favor,
only when things get extra interesting as a prelude to my approaching resounding solo,
screeching right over even your considerable range,
and I don’t care if I’m interrupting,
because that’s the least of my intended rude damage that anyone is going to be experiencing today.

Feudal Medicine Show

See, we can both dance like this for many years,
yes, I know that you don’t have that long here,
but it actually is the thought which counts,
unless of course it’s coming from your vile mouth.
We’ll recklessly glide over their well rotten stages,
just to catch the shock and awe on everyone’s faces,
interweaving across dried gardens and beaches,
with an audience battling in our conflicting teachings.

See, it’s really tough if you don’t like me around,
since I’m going to be following that band you found,
you can always personally give me the slip if you want,
but you know that sometime you’ll need a confidant.
Besides, I truly understand this game that we play,
you with your solemn facade looking for easy prey,
then I, close behind waiting until that first juicy bite,
and smelling the blood only further wets our appetites.

See, we can score carrying off your ingenious parlor tricks,
I won’t know you as I pretend that I’m either thick or sick,
so on cue, I’ll hold my arms out front and bump into tables,
later foam up and shout while thrashing about as if unstable.
We’ll exchange our daring posture of questions and answers,
making quite certain that both are vague and without candor,
intentionally dropping along a few popular story references,
leaving aside those all important meanings and deferences.

Now, It’s My Turn

Hey, what do we have ourselves here, people,
were you planning on ever using those mean looking swords of yours,
or are they just another one of your very dry humorless jokes I’ve heard about,
because I also have some things that need to be gotten across as well,
so are you and your boys going to play nice while I do that, please?

You really shouldn’t mind if I now move you off of this sandy podium here,
you can simply cool yourself in a comfortable seat merely ten feet away,
which if you were actually paying attention from a little before,
translates into twenty feet,
you think that you can handle it from there or do you require some additional help?

Don’t find that too funny, do you now,
well, surprise, it wasn’t meant to be,
as I’m certain that your stiff mealy counterpart wasn’t either,
and of course you’ll find its flaw or you should have,
since you’re only among friends here,
at least that’s how you preached it earlier, didn’t you,
you were preaching, weren’t you,
because I sure don’t want to misrepresent you here, now do I?

Right, only a fool would even attempt to belie someone, again,
sitting merely ten, I mean, twenty feet away,
is this such a far distance that one can’t hear or something,
no, so don’t worry yourself any more about it,
unlike yourself, I’m only here for educational purposes,
but you can comprehend that, can’t you,
yes, of course you can,
and again, if you can’t,
please do tell me so I will be allowed to explain it all into further detail,
I don’t wish to keep on talking without others also being a good part of the dialogue, do I?

Are you now starting to realize a slight connection with any of this that I’ve laid out so far,
swell, because I really want us to be on healthy terms here since I’m not afraid of my audience,
as I also don’t want my audience to be afraid of me as well,
for my case and its arguments are definitely strong enough to be able to put up with some, okay, a lot of criticism,
and I’m not at all concerned if the vast amount of the discussion is slanted toward mostly questions and complaints from the audience,
because, after all, this pertains mainly to their own livelihood and future,
so why wouldn’t it make perfect sense that they should be largely involved in the talk also?

Be aware that I want to make sure that I’m straight with us at all times,
because we don’t want any bit of doubt or confusion between each other here, do we,
exactly, these are to be precious facts that will need to be clear in order to last unadulterated for many generations,
neither of us wants to possibly carry some part in blame for corrupting others, now do we,
even if it’s completely unintentional,
once it’s conducted purely and honestly, even your wee children will understand,
so that everyone can cleanly pass this news along,
and by this, I mean everyone,
since I’m not going to be playing favorites here,
because it wouldn’t make much sense if I was any way selective if everyone is involved, now would it?

Indigestion Scripting

Sure, make yourself comfortable for the audience,
just little ol’ you alone with a million other strangers,
hot as hell ready to stretch them nimble extremities,
toes toward your forehead and the back of your neck,
dripping wildly with sweat at even the very thought of it,
when suddenly that familiar thunderous applause breaks your digression.

Ah, here it comes with your most artfully sensitive acting,
to cry or laugh on command before those understanding,
with beautiful traces across your stocks of ample femininity,
raising arms suggestively to convey either freedom or bondage,
snapping this crowning mane back in absolute disgust or defiance,
ferociously taking on all degrees of challenges washing over your reflection.

Right, next is our profound moment of sincere contemplation,
close examination of new creases in your delicate foundation,
a meticulous accounting in measuring all of one’s perimeters,
from stark characteristic landmarks ending with mere specters,
in digs and floodings high on the surface draining far deep within,
tracking above paths never wandered, considered, or thought to have existed.

Finally, the main event we’ve been patiently waiting here for,
your direct choice by questioning a purpose to this continuation,
all extremely pseudo-introspective wielded with a sledgehammer,
decidedly leaving your proud dressing room in an abject shambles,
cutting skin upon many thousands of quite different perspectives,
each screaming a resounding lie to anyone willing to be manipulated for pleasure.

Uh, what the hell did you just call me, punk? Because I couldn’t quite hear you over the little roar of this blade!

“‘Attention, carbon beings of Earth, I’ve come now to both punish and tame your measly world by raining down my awesome mother loving firepower!’ Yeah, that works for me, I’ll take a case of these!”

“Come on, man, stop smiling and laughing here! This is serious, boy! You just don’t seem to appreciate the fact, at least in this country, that it’s all out war against us patriots! Now, what we have here is our reasonable response to this dire threat. A real leveling of the battlefield with a pure fail-safe weapon. See, if the hollow point armor-piercing bullets don’t kill him, finish the pig off once and for all by literally cutting him into pork steaks for your next barbecue!”

“Oh yeah, baby! I can’t wait to try out this big nasty mama in bed with me tonight!”
“Very good, sir, but I must also warn that you should always use it with plenty of lubricant and away from body hair.”

“All right, I gotta see the look on my boss’ face when I’m asking for a raise this time while toting around ol’ Gunzilla here!”

“Geez, how much does this mean thing weigh anyway?”
“Ah, it’s exactly 28 pounds and 3 ounces, but that of course is not including all of the flesh, bone, and blood sprayed on and gumming up its works.”

“Look, what’s with all of the levity here? Do you think this is a joke, fella? A play toy for little babies or something? Okay, that’s better. Now, please bear in mind that this is only a sample display item. So sorry if there has been any misunderstanding or confusion. The actual product is obviously much larger.”

“Hey, let’s not get carried away here! This ain’t even real blood, friend. See, if you really want the genuine article, you’ll have to purchase the weapon and mine for it yourself.”

“Whoa, this bitter monster would be just perfect as a great edger for those bothersome weeds growing between the bricks in my patio!”