Relax, bruh, I merely need to give an illusion of maybe caring about folk’s absolution, then I promptly laugh in their loser faces!

Man With Forgive Me Sign

“Uh, forgive me for what? Hey, I seriously don’t believe it’s really a single bit of your goddamn business, fella; just freaking forgive me already, so we can both be decidedly over and done with this whole messy, stupid, and quite frankly, very personally embarrassing situation and experience!”

“Well, you see, I sort of ran down a few people and a cat once while driving my bus through a red light, because I was a couple of minutes behind schedule! Er, and obviously I felt kinda bad afterward, which later inspired a pretty good idea in order to possibly garner some quick sympathy points, by spending a little of my normally valuable time creating a cheap cardboard sign scrawling these simple, but brilliant words. Oh, yeah, and breathing heavily out of my pathetically gaping mouth, right, like I could actually fall victim to a massive heart attack at any second, was yet another pure stroke of genius, if you ask me!”

“Okay, honestly, I did nothing wrong, and I freely admit it, since I only want to appear as though I’m glaringly culpable of an offense… Whoa, I finally understand what you’re alluding to here, buddy! Aarrgh, you’re saying I am indeed committing a shameful act as it is, carrying around of lie and pretending, thus securely putting me inside the guilty as hell column! Jesus Hangdog Christ crying on His knees busily humping that bloody cross, are you quite happy now?”

Crashing Waves

As Jesus many times becomes,
most people’s first, last, or only mentor of sorts,
while remaining ever so glad,
to be apart of such a fantastic run,
over His supposed empowering words,
ultimately bridged by a faith-driven presence,
shining through soul and practically anything else in imagination,
kind of like having an all-day living radio show firmly attached,
prominently starring its own blathering loudmouth host,
yow, zap, and splat, babies, germs, and fellow fools,
blaring or whispering inside vulnerable believers’ ears,
largely depending on current or necessary mood,
following along nearly exhausted above an entire life.

This feverishly broadcasted sermon,
ranking to a thorough drowning in the River Jordan,
fixes prospective saints in relentless contact,
with the utter guru of claimed gurus,
meaning those fancy sages atop various holistic spice racks,
generously broken open for your newly favorite,
al dummy pasta treatment,
clinging to influentially phrenic, bestest selling writers,
eagerly seen across highly rated television meltdowns,
leaking frightful manifestos of spiritual and mental anarchy,
virtually way beyond simple voices and touches from mere humans.

Eh, honey, methinks you need to spend a wee extra effort when shaving your lattice region. Ugh, it’s starting to look like a damn arboretum!

Man Under Marilyn's Legs

“Oh, watch it, Frank, you might catch a social disease!”
“Come on, Gladys, no sane body was honestly asking to hear your stinking opinion! Yeah, since I’m the only qualified gynecologist, at least inside our tiny vicinity here, obviously my expert judgment easily outranks yours by a freaking endless margin!”

“Whoa, baby, I’m definitely in love big time with where I’m gazing above there! Okay, if you could possibly bend your simply luscious knees a bit, darling, I should certainly be able to give you quick payback in a very significant way towards the awesome pleasure you’re already providing in these thoroughly drenched shorts of mine! Listen, what’s the problem, woman? Aw, she just refuses to budge a mere inch! Jesus, I’m hella curious to know who is stiffer; her or little Frank!”

“Hey, screw Satanism, baby, because I have truly found my new extreme focus of worship! Bah, especially when the Devil is turning out to represent an enormous let down lately, but I seriously can’t say nearly the same for this huge tasty broad!”

“Dear diary, I finally got the greatest entry I shall ever manage to compose across my entire existence! Ha, now I must figure a sure method of scaling up those erotic stairs through sweet heaven to eventually make an even more amazing penetration straight between them fantastic greasy lamb chops!”

Punishing Faith

See, as only a kid,
I understood both God and Jesus,
quite obviously, were solidly in the wrong,
but this hardly matters much,
when against supreme might in maniacs’ hands.

Yeah, love is kind of a finicky emotion,
and it’s of course very normal,
one can’t get oneself to honestly care for,
two outright vicious monsters,
beating about far beyond every rafter,
completely in control above all things.

Please, Jesus and His miserable disciples,
vainly assert He was clearly innocent,
except again, that concerns little,
coming from branded supporters,
who can never allow themselves,
a mere chance to find any fault in the Man.

Relax, lots of people have reins on others,
yet they actually exist,
unlike stupid Jesus, the imbecilic myth,
besides, it always regards degrees,
as each of us,
has a limited amount of power,
over our lives,
where Jesus certainly remains a door, suspiciously ajar,
just spitefully connected to an iron maiden soaked in blood.

Puhleeze, court, distort, cavort! Relax, once the judge lays tired peepers across my cheery grin and shirt, he’ll quickly drop all fabulous charges against me!

Woman In Kitty Blouse

“Ha, I was easily able to steal this swell jacket, because the stores around here just allow me to shoplift from them, since they overwhelmingly feel so very sorry for poor, poor ol’ me; the sole graduate hanging ten between the school of hard knocks, splits, and gushes, er, and another place too!”

“Whoa yeah, I got an absolute rage to freaking live, boys and girls, and if you sincerely doubt me, I will surely burn you and everything else down to mere ashes, then promptly snort it in order to definitely achieve the most righteous of highs possible!”

“Jesus, I ain’t wearing plaid, you moron; it’s the kitty who is! Yuck, I utterly refuse to sully myself underneath such grossiticity, but she certainly has the freedom to sling on whatever hideous garbage she wants! Bah, kindly mind your own dirty business, jackass, and let God and the Devil sort theirs!”

“Hey, awesome, that perfectly describes me to a T, as in terror, baby; extremely twisted happiness radiating the simpleton outside, and pious serial killer fuming deep within! Look, dear folks, best stay tuned to same crazy bat sheeet channel to seriously hear further luscious details regarding yours slewly!”

“Bloody Mary, bloody Mary, always a great time to kill and bury, buddy, when nobody gives a Leaning Tower of Pisa’s damn about weeny capillaries, until I have them violently spreading and spewing like filthy missionaries!”