Ha, do you simply expect me to call a freaking tow truck over a lousy flat tire on this device while we have a handy trailer?

“Damn, boys, ain’t you heard everything’s bigger in Texas? Believe me, I’m close to the largest our fine state could possibly house, and definitely no other territory sincerely has enough room for!”

“Nah, I’m riding way back aboard our trailer, instead of the truck’s bed, because it makes me feel like one of them rock stars in a ritzy stretch limo!”

“Aw, if you must nosy through my personal business, son, we’re just trying to quick dry a few coats of clear polish beautifying the ol’ tootsies!”

“Come now, kids, I won’t be able to rattle around the place nearly as bad when those groceries, hay bales, and ice blocks are finally loaded up!”

“Yeah, baby, some weekend we gotta seriously attach a huge set of longhorns across the front, and then really travel in luxuriant style, like a true Texan!”

“Gracious, it was honestly a pretty tough choice, fellas, between the industrial strength Barcalounger, and even though the recliner is much more comfortable, alas, it’s merely a cheap motorless version!”

“Hell, lady, don’t you have any pride to serve us besides your utter shame today?”
“Mmm, let me think a sec… Oh, how about a couple of candy bars from a gas station? Urrgh, of course only after I’m done taking a major dump and leak!”

Neither Justified nor Great

Yikes, that’s truly really penetrating, friend,
got me even weeping a little here,
if it’s possible to excuse my sensitive demarcation,
because I don’t need to read it any other nether way,
since madness generated in divine standing,
ultimately directed toward absolute order,
manages to verge quite predictable,
eventually hovering over the very obvious also,
of an astonishing phenomenon and classification,
when it easily translates into our universe,
and I’m definitely inclined to distance myself,
from a corruption known supposedly as the Big Bang.

Much appreciating your current underhanded tactics,
determined to bind this analysis in stiff chain links,
inappropriately owned by the oppressive scientific community,
given their elaborate pantomime of orchestrations,
counter to my hopeful beliefs and subsequent religion,
against strict punishment of willful disobedience,
sorely bristling as well at the mere mention,
Heaven prohibit some tiny association either,
with holding offenders accountable for said perpetrations,
yet luckily we had such a being,
voluntarily remove our extremely loose chafing sandals,
equipping them onto His own noble feet instead.

Hey, you are honestly free to leave any time, keeping in mind the various severe methods and physical conditions it entails.

“Yeah, baby, now take off those ol’ granny drawers. Ah, just perfect! Wow, we shall indeed embrace more than one winner for a very special occasion, and they just happen to all be coincidentally located squeezed inside mighty sweaty boxers!”

“Listen, I ain’t concerned whether you like jean jackets, little mother; I only asked if you’re turned on by them. Remember, there’s a big difference between the two, and that important variation could well get some lucky person generously laid tonight!”

“Aw, easy, thigh buster of the luscious order, it’s commonly expected when a real man of definite substantial girth, sees an attractive woman of ample magnitude herself, his pants naturally break into juicy shreds!”

“Okay, smart lady, looks as though a ghost house is trying to make a right fool out of me playing ‘light switch roulette’ games here, and up until my current move, I do believe I’ve been a rather good sport about everything, but a certain seriously possessed ceiling fan had better stop its insistent rumblings once this last knob is flicked, or Daddy’s gonna finally develop quite a vicious temper!”

My Clerestory

Obviously we got plenty of them,
remarked to hunt down,
and thoroughly churn,
looking always at the ground,
from that little wooden box,
seen as your horrible lurid prison,
but also our ultimate in safety,
when occupying no place else,
neither of us have ever been yet.

Gazing up in sheer awe,
over the huge pliable curb,
below Your freshly worn soles,
decidedly crushing their balls.

Heard similarly mentioned many times,
just how amazing He was and is,
whether by His loyal royal crew,
of practically henchmen,
along with even those outside,
this simply massive disbelief,
except I really challenge these folks,
yes, all claimed and mere related,
calmly pose a lot of actual careful study,
inside this badly assumed personality.

Envisaging the vast majority inspired,
readily deny famous statements,
now only supposedly created,
stolen under established parts,
uttered long before Him,
across passages more original and unique,
found to be greatly unstable, subversive, and reckless,
while mostly,
honestly evil against nature.

There might be easily billions involved,
somewhere inspired by tendencies of like names,
although I highly doubt any attributed ill-concepts,
embody well toward the revered one imagined.

Right, good genes make the man, yet specifically for this case, a truly great woman out of her jeans, gets to make it with me!

“Hey, fine babes, wanna do the nasty in my ‘Caddy-shag-rack?’ Yeah, the shocks have pretty much about had it, so implying fairly little effort on our part, we still should honestly receive one helluva mowing over of various privates banging around rampantly there!”

“Aw, not too keen toward mustaches, I hear? Well, sexy darling, merely imagine hundreds of minute curb feelers sweeping across those lusciously tanned and toned streets, to eventually park a bit, and then desperately thrust along the above and below ground landmarks of your wondrous physique!”

“Nah, here’s only a five-gallon hat; see, the ten-gallon model we use to just barely house ol’ ‘Big Ron,’ who anybody can plainly notice standing at attention downstairs a piece!”

“Come now, I sincerely harbor an adequate share of skeletons behind assorted closet doors like probably most folks, but I definitely contain the vast majority of them buried under some other dude’s basement instead!”

Interchanging Fling

Smoking has all of us performing handsprings,
about to drive like virgin experts,
no patience for sliding backseat discourse,
we can’t ever get lost,
trailing always with the beautiful ocean’s guide.

A purpose we are still yet to determine,
but until then, my darling friends,
what truly matters is having lots of pleasure,
shopping from life as a drunk party girl,
endlessly parading her pappy’s credit card.

Your stinking planet is on a suicide mission,
slowly creeping up the dire heat,
making it much harder to finally notice,
except that’s the whole point,
watching ice cream reach a thousand dollars.

Mara’s fishing and catching horny lobsters,
ready to send them over who survives,
feeling only a contorted simple path,
because His eyes and mind are underwater,
carefully misplaced across their deep vastness.

Degrees slip beneath the mammoth stampede,
me too, definitely, and God be eternally celebrated,
black and white cookies spread above tinfoil,
melding in our oven as a twisted grimace,
where a race is solidly won before it’s begun.

Yow, girlfriend, this is certainly the largest and weirdest nose munchkin I ever dug without first requiring local anesthesia!

“Excuse me, princess, but have you confirmed who the father is yet?”
“Ha, don’t make me laugh! Paleeze, I can never honestly tell, because I was much too drunk, and the one I most suspect, constantly denies it! Bah, unless she begins growing a unibrow, then I’ll seriously nail that lying sucker!”

“Aw, you know, darling, it’s really no big deal, since after I had nine frenzied months of the Devil’s bitter creature occupying my precious belly, you ought to sure take over its next eighteen easy years now.”

“Mercy, she looks simply amazing, sista! Whew, about set to figure a proper name?”
“Yeah, I want her called ‘Troy,’ which reminds me of Trojans, and the condoms I should carry around, besides relying on the lousy rhythm method!”

“Oh wow, your baby seems very hungry; I guess you better give her some lunch!”
“Hey, do I resemble a freaking McDonald’s here, sweetie? Nah, instead of being utterly spoiled rotten by my parents when I was her age, she definitely best get used to fending for her little damn self alone!”